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Survivor's Guilt
Mar. 30th, 2008 08:33 pmI suppose it is a form of survivor's guilt. Today was the last day for the last of the people who were getting cut a work. Now... Most of these people need to work. They are living from check to check. I don't need to work, so to speak. I "have" to work, which is different. I was off for over a year after closing the family business, but just on Juli's income alone we still squeaked out a positive cash flow. I "have" to work as it would be unfair and impractical in the long term for me to live off of Juli. ...that and I am too old fashioned to respect myself if I did. But I'm not living check to check or struggling to pay bills. I feel a little guilty for taking a job that someone else would be able to live on.
That's my emotional outlook. The rational mind steps up and says a little different. I am earning this job. I could do better than this job however I am thriving here. In the overall picture I am not the one to make these choices as to who works there. They choose who fits best, not I. Someday it may be me who's dismissed. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
In other observations... I've been getting a lot done before work. That may have something to do with remnant Con High. Yesterday I paid bills, posted an entry, mailed bills, and stopped by Border's Books to find "Little Grrl Lost" by Charles deLint. I had a great discount coupon for %25 percent off of one item that was going to expire yesterday.
After work yesterday I managed to get to the Ed Board meeting [late] but soon enough to participate. This morning I slept in a little longer but I managed to get to work early enough to stop at KFC for my pot luck contribution and still early enough to go back to KFC so that they could get my order right.
Tomorrow starts the 9 hour 4 days a week [plus one four hour shift] schedule.
In point of fact, life is good.
That's my emotional outlook. The rational mind steps up and says a little different. I am earning this job. I could do better than this job however I am thriving here. In the overall picture I am not the one to make these choices as to who works there. They choose who fits best, not I. Someday it may be me who's dismissed. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
In other observations... I've been getting a lot done before work. That may have something to do with remnant Con High. Yesterday I paid bills, posted an entry, mailed bills, and stopped by Border's Books to find "Little Grrl Lost" by Charles deLint. I had a great discount coupon for %25 percent off of one item that was going to expire yesterday.
After work yesterday I managed to get to the Ed Board meeting [late] but soon enough to participate. This morning I slept in a little longer but I managed to get to work early enough to stop at KFC for my pot luck contribution and still early enough to go back to KFC so that they could get my order right.
Tomorrow starts the 9 hour 4 days a week [plus one four hour shift] schedule.
In point of fact, life is good.
